Preparing for Labor

When my husband and I began considering birthing method classes, I had the power to choose anything I wanted, really. Austin is a great place for many reasons, but in this particular case, because the population ranges from die-hard hippie to high-tech CEOs and everything in between. My husband is a wonderful man, and always wants to help but like anyone, really has a hard time when he wants to help but doesn’t know what to do. I’ve seen this in my 10 year-long battle with chronic back pain, and when I was in the throws of pain, it wasn’t endearing – it was infuriating. I did NOT want to be furious with my husband on one of the most important days of our lives! So, after much research, I chose the Bradley Method of birth, a natural, Husband Coached method. I seriously couldn’t have made a better decision. We wanted to deliver naturally, since both of us had been born by cesarean, and there are several hospital and birthing centers in Austin that are very supportive of natural birth. If you’re in the Austin area, I would highly recommend our teacher, Bridget Brown. She is so well prepared, really down-to-earth, and a TON of fun. If you’re looking to take Bradley classes here in Austin, check her out here. It’s worth every penny! Being a highly-educated woman, I honestly believed I knew a lot about the birthing process, and was relatively well prepared to give birth. In fact, if my Ob practice didn’t require a birthing class, I probably would have just taken the class offered by the hospital that meets twice for 2 hours. I thought I knew what my body had to do and how to handle it. As Bradley students, we ended up training for a marathon and learning much more than I ever, EVER thought possible. When we finished our 3 months of weekly classes, I was confident, well-trained, and ready to give birth! I can’t tell you how glad I am that we invested the 3 months in training for the single hardest 2 days of my life so far. Yes, I said 2 DAYS. In our culture, the process of giving birth has been morphed into something to laugh at, make fun of, and avoid. It’s a messy business – literally and figuratively. A woman’s body has to do things that seem unnatural, and yet, our bodies were designed specifically for that purpose. For those of us who choose to give birth, we are terrified by what the media portrays as “normal” from the time we are young, but we are never allowed to see this process happen, so it is both mysterious and terrifying. What a way to begin! There were so many things I didn’t know about birth that I think every woman should. If you choose to take Bradley classes, you’ll learn many of these things as part of your preparation. If not, here are my two cents. Take them, leave them, decide I’m insane and stop speaking to me, whatever. But at least read them. 1. It is YOUR responsibility to educate yourself and prepare for your birth experience. YOURS. Not the doctor’s, nurse’s, your partner’s, but YOURS. Most doctors will do whatever is easiest and most convenient for them, but it is your right to choose what’s best for you. You will gain so much confidence if you do your homework and treat this birth as what it is – one of the most important things you’ll ever do. Take a birthing class – Seriously. Pick the one that will help/teach you the most – this is not a time to choose convenience over information. 2. It will hurt like hell. Accept it, and get over it. Pain is not something our culture accepts well. Does your head hurt a little? Pop an aspirin. Sleep wrong and feel a crick in your neck? Pop a pill. Tummy hurt? Another pill. Of course, no one likes pain. Unfortunately, Americans in general have a bad habit of treating the symptoms rather than the cause of pain. Have I been guilty of this? Absolutely. I have scoliosis that was left undiagnosed and untreated until I was 15, and then went to a bad chiropractor for a few months. The result was 10 years of constant, chronic back pain. Yes, from age 15 until 25 I lived in pain that often hung out around an 8 on the 1-10 pain scale. I had to learn to live with it, focus despite it, and how to get relief from it. But it wasn’t until recently that I started treating the cause of it. With quality chiropractic care, exercise, and self-monitoring; my pain level rarely reaches above a 4, and I’m amazed at how much less I get sick and how much more energy and focus I have. Labor pain is overwhelming, but there are ways to manage it. Mind tricks, breathing techniques, and coaching help, but the most important thing you can do is accept it, and move on to work through it. It will end. It WILL end. And not in 10 years. 3. There will be things that you can’t control. Robert Burns’ poem To a Mouse states “The best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.” It’s true. If you don’t know your options, you don’t have any. There is nothing that can truly prepare you for labor, but do your best to prepare. Make a plan. Do everything you can to stick to that plan. And if/when situations arise that are out of your control, choose the path that will lead to a healthy baby and healthy mom with the least intervention possible. Give yourself and your baby the best chance, and you can’t go wrong. Take charge of your experience, moms and dads. Get educated, and get ready for the most amazing experience in life. In my next blog post, I’ll share my son Caleb’s birth story. **If you are pregnant, think before you read it – it’s a hard one, and it almost surely will NOT happen to you, but I don’t want you to be afraid going into your own labor story. All you need to know is this: my son and I are both alive and healthy ☺ **